My own personal opinions, analyzations, and interpretations of pop culture. If I'm lucky, some if it might even be insightful. Also, I am kind of a nerd.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

We Are Go For Launch.

Welcome to the very first post here at "Tales From Treasure Island", the very first attempt at serious (hah) blogging by me, Nathan Williams.

This, like most blogs, is mostly going to be used for my musings on popular (and not so popular) culture. However, I would also like to use it to occasionally chronicle the stories of my move to Treasure Island, San Francisco and whatever adventures find me there. In six days I leave the home I have lived nearly my entire life in for the only decent city in California.

Yes, that's right. The first "Tale From Treasure Island" isn't actually from Treasure Island. So shoot me.

Over the next couple of posts, I'll be recording the experience of moving in and also give a general rundown of the rather bizarre mid-bay island I'm going to be calling home.

First, however, I'm going to give a few quick blurbs on one of my all-time favorite subjects: Really Awful Movies.

Vampire Wars: Battle For The Universe: Okay, seriously. The secondary title is "Battle For The Universe". Immediately upon reading that, my friends and I knew we had a gem. The opening line for this sci-fi tale of space-faring vampire hunters is "There is intelligent life out there: most of it vampiric". Being a low-budget Canadian monster flick, the universe of course consists of about six sound stages and a small forest probably located near a roadside campground. They spared no expense, however, when it came to landing Michael Ironside as the evil vampire leader, Muco. The vampires have different species, by the way, and are given classifications based on slasher movie antagonists. Expect a lot of lines like "We have to outrun these Leatherfaces!". This movie truly has to be seen to be believed.

The Wickeds: Ron Jeremy is a grave robber. That, alone, makes this worth a rent. Don't get me wrong, this movie is supremely awful in every way, but it's got Ron Jeremy as a freakin' grave robber. Mr. Jeremy and his grave-robbing partner join a passel of teenagers locked up in an old house trying to survive a zombie attack. Also, despite being a zombie movie, a girl is killed by a ghost for some reason.

Final Destination 3: This movie, like its predecessors, would not be worth mentioning if it wasn't for the perverse sense of brilliance that manages to permeate a few scenes. The movie only clocks in at about an hour and a half, so it's actually pretty worth it wading through the crap to get to the good stuff. I rented it due to the much-hyped "choose your own outcome" option toted on the DVD, but that turned out to be mostly a dud as there are not many opportunities and the changes are very inconsequential. But regardless, if waiting in suspense to see how the lead actress from Noggin's Instant Star is going to be killed isn't entertainment, then I don't know what is.

Ok. That's all I've got for now. I think I'll follow this up with a Movies That Are Pretty Awesome.

5 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

looking forward to "awesome movies"

how good was Achewood today

10:25 PM

 
Blogger Nathan said...

It was fantastic.

"No true comics fan waits until Comic-Con".

9:58 AM

 
Blogger Laura Dunlap said...

Pshhhaw!

I'm just looking forward to the actual tales from Treasure Island. Exciting.

10:15 AM

 
Blogger Toxic Fox said...

my predictions for an awesome movies list by nathan

happiness of the katakuris
fulltime killers
bottlerocket
the bicycle theif
nosferatu (because of that scene, you know the one)

3:37 PM

 
Blogger Mikester said...

NO! DON'T BLOG! TURN BACK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

6:09 PM

 

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